I ate yesterday for the first time since Elin left. I went over to breezys because she had a bad day. we ended up getting pizza at ten thirty and i ate over half of it myself. It felt kinda good to eat haha. I dont know where im at with the whole moving thing. I'm starting to feel really bad that i ever brought it up because breezy is going to lose her boyfriend and her sister in august and im all thats left for her basically and now i want to move. :( im so selfish sometimes. In all honesty. I'm buying as much time as i can so i can hang on to ben and find a way to get to texas with him. Some may find this irrational but maybe that's because you havent felt the way i feel about him.
I'm going camping tomorrow with benjamin :) i cant wait. Tonight possibly a bon fire consisting of me ben guitars and maybe breezy rae. we shall see.
I have not gone a day without ben this entire week. and i dont plan on starting. Since monday i have attempted to wake him up early but i fail because as soon as i get over to his house i just end up falling asleep with him haha. oh well.
Mulleys saturday.. ben is playing with his little bro sam, who is a bad ass on the drums. It's going to be hard tho because Elin isnt there. I can literally hear her harmonies come in but its only in my head.. I know ben wants her there too. We both want her here with us, but until we meet again she will always be in our hearts and our memories, filling us with good times and memories.
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